Hi everyone! Welcome or welcome back to The Teen Safe Zone, where it's safe for teens to be themselves! As we've talked about many times before on this blog, peer pressure is real, especially for teenagers. However, I've never went into a more specific type of peer pressure; the pressure to be in a relationship during your teen years.
We recently read a memoir in English class this past week about an author sharing her first "love" as a teenager, and how she realized she was in an idea of what she thought was love, but it was only one-sided. This memoir sparked a blog post idea for me because it made me realize how much pressure is put on teens to be in a relationship, but no one ever addresses how easy it is for us teens to be manipulated while in a relationship, especially your first.
In today's post, I will be talking about the topics of love vs. idealized love, how to accept being single (at any age) and embrace your independence, and waiting until the time is right for you to be in a relationship.
Love vs. Idealized Love
Describe what you would identify as love. Was your first reaction about the physical things and the title(s) it can give, or was it about overcoming life's difficulties and accepting the responsibility required to maintain a healthy relationship? Many people nowadays define a relationship and being in "love" simply by what they see in movies or on social media. So many people focus on the good rather than both the good and the hardships that come along with being in a relationship. If you're planning to be in a relationship, you have to be mentally prepared for the responsibility. However, so many people just want someone to hold and claim as their "own"; that they never give themselves time to grow and mature for a relationship.
Some people only desire to be in a relationship because they see everyone around them in one, and they feel lonely and "left out"; especially as a teenager, being in school and seeing all of the couples around you can probably influence you to want to be in a relationship. Even in movies and on social media, teen romance is romanticized and shoved in your face all the time. We have come to a time and day where teen romance is almost seen as a "requirement" to be a teenager.
I have heard 13-year-olds complain and worry that they haven't "lived" life yet because they haven't been in a relationship before. The way society has pressured pre-teens and teenagers to be in a relationship so early on is honestly disappointing because it's conditioning the new generations to not know how to accept being alone and, even worse, not knowing if you're mentally ready to even be in a relationship. This is why I believe so many teen relationships (not all) flop; because you have immature teenagers who aren't mentally prepared to take on the responsibility of a relationship. This isn't just for teenagers either, this is for all age groups because those immature teenagers would eventually turn into immature adults who once again repeat the same pattern until they learn how to accept being alone and not following what they see.
Accept Being Single As Of The Moment:
I'm going to be completely honest with all my fellow teenagers out there; with all of our emotions and hormones in rage, we can easily dramatize something so bad, with red flags all over it, into what we believe is "love." In a relationship or just about anything in life right now, we can easily be influenced. So, try not to put yourself in a position where someone can take advantage of that. Build up your confidence, learn your worth, accept yourself, because no one else can do that for you. If you're going into a relationship all because you need someone to "help" you love yourself, you're doing it with the wrong intentions. You are a full circle all on your own and don't need another half to fulfill you because you have all of that in yourself already.
If God decides that you're mentally mature enough to handle a relationship while in your teen years, that's great because it's His will and not your own. However, if that don't happen for you, that's not a bad thing. Everything that happens in life has a reason. If you're not in a relationship, or all of your relationships flop, it's because that's not what God has for you right now. Not saying that it won't happen one day, but right now, use this time being single as a self-discovery journey, so when you do meet your significant other, you will actually be prepared. Some things in life you will have to wait for, but good things are worth the wait!
Also, if relationships aren't something that interests you, that's completely ok! Relationships aren't for everyone and if you know that this isn't something that you desire in life, don't force yourself in one to please someone else.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed today's post! If you want to contact me about anything, please visit the "Contact Us" page on this blog where we can privately talk! NEW POSTS EVERY SUNDAY! - Lexi
Comments