Hi everyone! Welcome, or welcome back, to The Teen Safe Zone where it's safe for teens to be themselves! In today's bonus blog post, we will be discussing tips on how to realistically "glow up". On social media, there has been a new trend, or aesthetic, called "glowing up" that has been catching the attention of teens and young adults. This trend revolves around "becoming the best you," and it embraces self-care and making healthy habits.
However, I have realized that when many people refer to wanting to "glow up," it's not the life changes they are searching for but rather the image of a seemingly put-together lifestyle. People search for and strive to be that person who seems to have it "all" on the outside, but what about internally?
If you have been a long-time reader of this blog, you may have already picked up on my thoughts on social media trends. However, with this trend, I still think there are good things that can come out of it if it's not done for the wrong reasons. So let's discuss how to actually have a glow up.
Define A "Glow Up":
While brainstorming for this blog post, I was thinking, "What does it actually mean to 'glow up'?" On social media, glowing up is almost always referred to your external appearances, such as building a skincare routine, wearing less makeup, finding your style, etc., but I don't really hear much about internal struggles such as mental health, self-esteem, confidence, and acceptance. Your internal well-being is so important and can effect your day-to-day performance, so why aren't they the first steps of "glowing up"?
Have You Ever Thought?:
What happens if someone tries all of the tips social media has given on "glowing up" such as following routines, trying new products, different makeup brands, etc., but still feels like something is "missing"?
Maybe you have gone through a similar experience listed above. In all honesty, we probably all have. Like those times you probably went impulsively shopping to "forget your problems", or hung out with a bunch of random people to feel less lonely, or maybe even worse, and nothing that you did worked. You still found yourself running from something. This is just like the process of glowing up. You have to first face all of the bad things before you can get to the "good". It's like getting rid of the old and in with the new, but with you!
In the next few sections, I have come up with four main components to help you actually glow up.
Changing Your Mindset:
The first step to having a realistic glow up is to work on your mindset. Everything starts from how you view yourself and the world. If you want change, it starts from within, and that includes changing your mindset. You can't expect to see "better things” happening if you aren't willing to change your mindset. You have to set your mind in a positive and motivating environment.
Example:
Someone wants to start living a healthier lifestyle, so they get a gym membership. But they haven't changed their mindset so that they could maintain this lifestyle. After they work out at the gym, they go back to their old unhealthy habits. Without changing your mindset, nothing will change.
Changing your mindset first starts with you identifying the burdens or root of a problem in your life. This step is important because it may be the cause of what’s holding you back in life. Have you ever been around someone and negativity is the only thing you've gotten from being around them? If you want to "glow up" in life, you'll have to remove all of these things that are holding you back. This includes removing yourself from negative, narcissistic, and prideful people.
Once you find what the problem is, the first step to having a "glow up" is to work on that area in your life. Don't let others make you feel bad or even guilt shame yourself for letting people go in your life. Some people are meant to stay for a lifetime, and others are unfortunately only meant for a season.
But what happens if the problem isn't the people that are around you, but it's something going on within yourself? I am all for taking accountability and that means honestly admitting that sometimes we can be the problem ourselves. We can be our own worst critics, we can guilt-shame ourselves, and we can be the ones with toxic traits. It's ok to admit that not everything is ok. So this leads to our next topic; self-esteem & confidence.
Self Esteem & Confidence:
Self-esteem and confidence are a must if you want to "glow up". This category refers to working on your internal self. If you find that there's something that you're struggling with internally, this is the perfect time to start working on your weaknesses.
Example:
If you find yourself struggling with comparison to others, this is the time to start learning how to accept yourself. Of course, this is a lot easier said than done, but it's a process. To work on this problem, try taking a break from social media and have a self-reflection of yourself without the opinions of others. Do you like what you see in the mirror? Do you enjoy your style? If so, don't let the opinions of others shape you.
However, building your self-esteem and confidence shouldn't mean that you need to tear other people down to make yourself feel good. It's quite the opposite. Self-esteem and confidence are when you can genuinely celebrate other people's success without getting jealous or envious of them. Self-esteem and confidence take maturity, and maturing is realizing that there's always going to be someone who does things a little better than you can. Should you feel "threatened" by it? No. Why not? Because your self-esteem and confidence shouldn't go down because you're around a particular person and it also shouldn't leave because you're not around a particular person.
Your self-esteem and confidence are how you feel about yourself when others are and aren't around. It shouldn't waiver regardless of what environment you are in.
Finding Yourself:
After you have gotten through the first two steps (which are the hardest ones, so congrats!), it is now time to find who you truly are. This stage is what I like to call, "The Exploration Stage," because it's all about not being afraid to try new things. This stage is actually really fun, and exhausting at the same time because sometimes you don't know where to start.
If you're a teenager, you're probably already going through this stage without realizing it. We, teenagers, change all the time because we are in the process of finding out who we want to be in life. It can be exciting, nerve-wracking, and exhausting all at the same time.
So how do you find yourself? Well, the basics of it is finding who you are and what you're satisfied with, without the voices and opinions of others. Now there is a difference between hate and constructive criticism, but we'll save that for another time. This stage includes finding your likes and dislikes, your hobbies, your clothing style (and not just because it’s trendy), etc.
Enjoy Being Alone:
The last step to "glowing up" in a nutshell is enjoying your own company. Sometimes maturity drives others away because they realize that they can no longer use you for their own benefit. The brutal part of glowing up is people leaving because they can't handle the powerful person you've become. But don't worry, it's their loss, not yours.
While you are on your journey of glowing up, finding who you are, and changing your mindset, it might take some time to find genuine, accepting people in your life. So this stage is where you enjoy being alone and being in your own company. Of course, it's not something we enjoy, and I honestly hope that you all have a good support system, but the honest fact is that a lot of people don't.
You shouldn't feel that a part of you is "missing" because someone decides to leave (grief is a different story). This is why we went through the steps of not relying on others for you to have self-esteem and confidence. This is the stage where you use all of the wisdom you've learned from the previous stages, and apply it to your life now.
Sometimes, we are placed in a lonely obstacle in life because that is when we learn the most about ourselves and our journey. A lot of people tend to become distracted when other people come along. But if you already know your goal in life and who you are, you won't have to go through an identity crisis when others aren't around you. So use this time of loneliness for your own good and find out who you are when others aren't around.
Work on your internal-self first and everything externally will naturally follow.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed today's bonus post! If you all have any other comments on this post, make sure to become a member on this site by simply signing up and making an account to comment! If you want to contact me about anything, please visit the "Contact Us" page on this blog where we can privately talk! New post coming next Sunday! - Lexi
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We definitely need longer blog posts like these! Your YouTube video on this topic was so good!
I hope you all enjoyed today's bonus blog post! :)