Hi everyone! Welcome or welcome back to The Teen Safe Zone, where it's safe for teens to be themselves! In today's post, we will be talking about trying to live up to your family's expectations instead of living to be happy in your own life. If you are a person who is struggling to find your identity and what you love to do because you're scared of what your family might think if you take a different path, this post is for you. This post should also remind family members to remember that you don't have control over another human being's life; your job is just to guide them to the best of your ability.
Expectations:
Many people struggle with having a family that has high expectations for them; whether that's intentionally or not. Some people's families want them to pursue being a doctor, a lawyer, etc. However, sometimes these things may not be what you want to do in your life. Sometimes you may not even be sure what you want to do. I can only imagine how frustrating it can be when it feels like you have no other option than to be what your family wants you to be.
There's nothing wrong with having dreams that your family member does x, y, or z, but it becomes a problem when you aren't open minded to what they choose to do. Family should always be supportive of what you do (as long as you aren't ruining your life, of course), even if that means your path isn't the same as what they imagined. It's not up to your family to choose how you should live. In all honesty, none of us really have control over our lives; sometimes things in life happen that we can't control.
Having very high expectations for someone can be very damaging to their mental health because they'll always feel like they have to "prove" something to satisfy everyone else. Many people who deal with this issue always feel pressured to be "the perfect child" or the perfect everything. When in reality, no one is capable of being "perfect', not even the family members who push their expectations on you.
Learning To Stand Up For Yourself
I know sometimes it can be difficult to walk away from something you don't agree with, especially if it's from people you know personally. However, it's never OK for people to pressure you into doing something you don't like, whether they're family or not. This ties into the topic of peer pressure.
I want this post to be a motivation for everyone to know that just because someone is "family" does not mean that you have to deal with their non-sense. As mentioned before, as long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else, your family should always be supportive of what you choose to do in life. Family shouldn't be the people putting you down, making you feel "not good enough", etc. Remember, this is your life, and you'll be held responsible for every action you take in life, and saying "my family made me do it" is not a valid answer. If your family is openly doing something wrong/something you don't agree with, there will be a time where you have to stand up for what you believe in. If down the line, you find out that you were wrong, take accountability for it, and vice versa.
My P.E. teacher from last school year always told us that family doesn't equal blood-related, family equals love. I wanted to share this with all of you because this is an amazing life lesson. Sometimes family can be your worst enemy, and you'll find that you are better off on your own, unfortunately. As much as it may hurt to let the people you love go, you have to ask yourself, do they love you the same? Or are they only there because of the things you can provide for them or the reputation you can give the family?
You Have The Right To Make Decisions For Yourself
Don't feel guilty if you want to take a different path than what your family has planned for you. As a human being, you have the right to do so. Your family members can get angry as much as they would like, but your happiness doesn't equal their expectations. Do what makes you happy, what you are passionate about. Do something someone in your family has never done before! Break the cycle for once!
While writing this post, I have a deep feeling that some people may switch my words to make it seem like I'm saying to rebel against your family. I'm not saying that at all, so please don't twist my words. The message I want to get across is that if you know that your family's expectations are overwhelming or wrong, speak up for yourself. Sometimes people might have high expectations of you without even knowing it. How would they know if you never told them? If you've had this conversation with them time and time again but they didn't care to change and be understanding, I want you to know that there's nothing wrong with speaking up for yourself. There's nothing wrong with not being "the ordinary" in the family. Who knows, maybe God put you in your family to stand out from the crowd. Sometimes some people are placed in their family to change everything and make a good pathway for future generations. That person could be you.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed today's post and found it motivating! If you want to contact me about anything, please visit the "Contact Us" page on this blog where we can privately talk! NEW POSTS EVERY SUNDAY! - Lexi
This post would be so motivating for people going through this situation! I hope that pressuring families would come across this and realize that too much pressure and "planning" can cause someone more harm than good. It's completely ok to go outside of traditions sometimes, as said above.
Everything in this post is so quotable, I wish more people would read this post! I love how you perfectly explained everything from the way of saying how no one has control over their lives, to how you talked about how no one is perfect, not even the family members trying to pressure you! Well said!